May 10, 2009

 

It’s early morning in the dayroom. This is my refuge from the noise and crowded ness of the dormitory, a perfect time to write.

 

The legislature is considering an early release for non-violent offenders. Many other states are dong this and because of the budget deficits, it might actually become a law. There is a lot of pressure on them to do something. If it should pass, I would be getting out next year and if not, in 2011. Either way, it won’g be too long now. In the meantime, I’ll make the best of each new day.

 

I’ve been thinking of the gains and losses of these ten years in here and have written an essay on this topic called “The Gift of Losses” that I’ll enclose for you.Som any losses…so many gains. The best I can say for it is that it has been a transformative experience and I’ve gained an understanding and a compassion that I didn’t know existed. I’ve reached a point in my life where I feel there’s NOTHING more important than kindness and compassion. I’ve even developed some compassion for myself for not having enough compassion. Yea!

 

As I grow older I notice what an excellent time it is to practice letting go. I can forget about accomplishing all my ambitions – it’s too late for that. I can forget about “making something of myself”, a telling expression. Sometimes, for a moment, I taste the relief of letting this self fold gently int the next self, moment by moment, like eggs into batter. It’s time to forget some things and remember others.

 

You said it beautifully in one of your writings – “In the meantime, we all have to do the best we can to be the light we would hope to see.” Yes! In fact, I think I’ll sing about it…

 

(refrain of music)

 

This little light of mine

I’m gonna let it shine

Let it shine, Let it shine, Let it shine!

 

May we abandon ourselves into the message of this song. May our feet begin to tap and grow lighthearted as they sweep us along to the rhythm of the music. May we touch the harmonics of the soul.