12-26-09

It's 6 AM on the day after Christmas and I'm sitting here at a table in the "quiet room"...a wonderful time to meditate and share some thoughts with you.

I really didn't think I'd have to spend another holiday in here, but here I am, and all I can do is make the bet of it and help as many others as I can. The light way down at the end of the long tunnel has sometimes flickered and almost gone out, but now it's beginning to glow a little brighter. My release date is in September of 2011, and then there won't be any more denials.

For a long time, that date was so far in the future. I didn't think much about it and focused primarily on making the best of each day. I'll still do that, but now I'll begin adding some thoughts about how I can make the adjustments I'll have to make. They seem a little overwhelming and it will be quite a challenge, but way down deep inside, I know that it will all work out perfectly.

It's marvelous to consider this: everything that happens in this life, even this prison experience, has its unique and proper place in the pattern, the web, of the human race as a whole.  This is a lofty and difficult conclusion to come to and yet it brings a huge sigh of relief. After all, if this is so, it means that everything - everything - is all right.

It's so very easy to lose our sense of wonder, our sense of awe at the miracle of just beingt alive today. To the degree that we do this, we think that there is some ideal condition better or higher than our present condition and that we must struggle to attain this ideal. This ideal - and for me it would be to be free from prison - can easily capture me and hold me prisoner. The ultimate realization, I believe, is that now is enough as it is. I can relax. Everything is already all right. This realization helps me to see the beauty and perfection of this moment, which is the only life I actually have. Life offers us just what it offers and our task is to bow to it, to meet it with understanding and compassion.

May we dance, skip, and play in this realization ...in this light today.