Beyond The Wall

The Chrysalis

 

by Charles "Tom" Brown

 

The lyrics of a song called "Chrysalis" are:

 

"Change feels scary

Do butterflies worry?

Does a rose get scared when its petals

begin to loosen and unfurl?

Does blossoming sometimes feel like

falling apart?

Butterfly, you can try your bright wings.

Let your colors fly.

A chrysalis is a fine thing -

Until it's time to take to the sky."

 

There is no denying that the cocoon is a safe place. It's restful there. Nobody bothers you. You feel like you have it together.

 

Sooner or later, though, the effectiveness of what you have been doing so far fades. The way you have gone about things wears out. The creative energy wanes. The music in your head gets repetitive. You need something. Because of restlessness, some call it "divine discontent", you have to start tearing up that safe cocoon to get what you're hungry for.

 

Do you think there will be fear as an awareness develops of the hunger, the discontent, the longing? There will be. Do you think you might lose everything? You will. You will have to lose all the caterpillar-ness, all that cocoon-ness, in order to get wings, in order to take to the sky.

Personal Observations

by Charles "Tom" Brown

copyright 2010

 

Is my generation the last to grow up outdoors? As a boy, I used to hike through the woods and bike down country roads, completely unsupervised, which is unheard of today. Today's child is growing up sitting in front of a computer screen or listening to an I-pod, not climbing trees or even playing ball in the street.

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Life has its imperfections and there is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.

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In teaching math, I find that the hardest math to master is that which enables me to count my blessings. When I do focus on my blessings, though, it reminds me to find the relatedness, the value, even the beauty in simple and ordinary things.

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Somewhere along the way, I have found that the spiritual path begins to expand from the narrow confines of rigid dogma to the wider landscape of accepting life's contradictions and mysteries.

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I want to be willing to entertain diametrically opposite ideas at the same time to get to the truth.

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There are just some things that cannot be expressed in words. Though I try to bring structure and color to what is indescribable, I'll readily admit to not bean an awakened being. At least my eyes are open and the lights are on.

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When I think of what I've learned and what lies ahead, I find that life's lessons are much more subtle than they used to be. I used to have to be hit over the head with a "two-by-four" (losses, imprisonment, etc), but now it's more like a gentle nudge.

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When I lose track of myself, I enter a simpler realm where there is just the coming and going of experience...just what is.

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As we work for peace and justice and encounter opposition, let's remember that Spirit is at work among us, disarming us all.

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Things come together and then they fall apart. It's just how it is. The healing comes in making room for this to happen: room for grief, room for relief, room for sadness, room for joy.

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Love helps me to see beauty in all that I behold. A Japanese proverb says it perfectly - "A man in love mistakes a pimple for a dimple."

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It seems as if the more I let go, the more I experience love. Love is openhearted, demands nothing, and needs nothing. It's more likely to visit me when my desires are quiet, when I don't need or want much, and when I accept that everything I love is not permanent, but is with me at this moment.

A Morning Walk

 

by Charles "Tom" Brown

copyright 2010 

 

 

This morning I went for a walk

On the prison rec yard.

The sky was clear

And the air was cool.

 

I stopped in my walking

To appreciate the rising sun.

There was nothing else in the world

Except this sunrise and me watching it.

 

Then I noticed the sunlight was filtered

Through the chain-link fence topped with razor wire.

It was beauty witnessed through something

Meant for confinement and intimidation.

 

But the sun continued to warm my face

and brighten the morning sky.

 

The fence couldn't stop that.

A Different World

 

by Charles "Tom" Brown

copyright 2009

 

Currently, we're seeing an upheaval in the global economics and not only are we getting a good look at the changing whims of lady fortune, but we're also seeing clearly that the world runs on a deep elusion about what will truly offer satisfaction.

 

What is being revealed is that our lives are less individual than we thought; we behave as a collective organism. And like the fish in the ocean, we swim through history without noticing how its water shapes our movement. For instance, if we find ourselves feeling poor and unfortunate, let's stop thinking about how well of we were or how wealthy we could be. Instead, let's compare ourselves to all the people who have ever lived. When we do this, we're suddenly very rich. Just imagine all those who suffered through life with no electricity, no running water, no painkillers, no antibiotics, and none of the comforts we take for granted. Let's remember that just a few generations ago, most of our relatives were peasants.

 

Perhaps the current economic crisis is exactly the one we need right now to see that our way of life is unsustainable. It's hard to give up our cherished pleasures and comforts, but nature is beginning to foreclose on its loan. We're seeing this in polluted air and water, in soil erosion, in deforestation, and in global warming. Would we plunder the earth, pollute the water, puncture the protective ozone layer, level the rain forests, and drive whole species of animals to extinction if we truly acknowledged the beauty and the power of the natural world, our dependence on it, and its dependence on our good treatment? If together we respect our Mother Earth, will we not learn respect for one another and begin the work of peace? The ground we stand on is holy - and it is our common ground.

 

When we lose sight of the fat that we are all connected, when we lose a sense of common good, when we no longer feel the suffering of others, this is when we create a society of wanton excess, of conspicuous consumption, of environmental destruction, of gross injustice.

 

We need a vision of the common good, a vision grounded in a respect for human dignity, founded on the realization that we are all connected and interdependent. Our first task is to get in touch with what truly matters in our lives. We need to reach out to one another and support one another.

 

This is a wake-up call for us, an opportunity to come to our senses and to create something new and wonderful. We can create a world that is just and responsible and sustainable. We can create a different world.

 

Let's seize the moment and begin now.

The Enchanted Seed

 

 

by Charles "Tom Brown

copyright 2010

 

William Jennings Bryan, political leader and orator, once wrote these words:  "I have observed the power of the watermelon seed. It has the power of drawing from the ground and through itself 200,000 times its weight. When you can tell me how it takes this material and out of it colors an outside surface beyond the imitation of art, and then forms inside of it a white rind and within that again a red heart, thickly inlaid with black seeds, each on of which in turn is capable of drawing through itself 200,000 times its weight - when you can explain to me the mystery of a watermelon, you can ask me to explain the mystery of God."

As we think of these words, we can see that we too are part of the drama that creates forms millions of times greater than the originating seed. There is a perfection that exists in every seed for producing life, without making a single mistake. The watermelon seed never makes the mistake of producing a pumpkin or an apple. This force that no one can see, touch, smell, hear or taste, is perfect. It is the seed that is responsible for the beginning of every single human being who has ever lived anywhere at any time.

Our gift is our awareness. We need not explain the mystery of this creative force, since even one tiny seed containing an invisible future stymies all of us. It is far more sensible to be aware of that which is impervious to boundaries and beginnings as well as ends. We can choose to be aware of this force, to feel it within ourselves, and to allow the great joy of feeling to connect to it all.

Let's remind ourselves daily that everything is  in order. It's born of mystery, but an order nevertheless. This is an intelligent system that you and I are a part of, and trusting in that intelligence is far more fulfilling than questioning it or even trying to figure it all out. Let's let go of our mental inclination to analyze and allow ourselves to enjoy the mystery that is the source of life. Let's remember that this very moment is a miracle, as is everything around us.

The Eternal Hoper

 

 

by Charles "Tom" Brown

 

Despite the chaos and the impermanence of life, we can choose to make the best of each day and to look for the sunshine...even on cloudy days. We can choose to be an eternal hoper.

 

The case for hope has never rested on provable facts or rational assessment. Hope by its very nature is independent of logic. It provides us with a sense  of destination and the energy to get started. It gives value to feelings as well as to facts.

 

Hopers stay on the path, resisting those who would derail our quest. We keep traveling even when the specifics of the destination are confusing or changed midstream. Hope sustains our vision without dwelling on detailed results.

 

The obstructionists we hopers met on our sacred journey are numerous. Here are a few:

 

• Pessimists try to demoralize us by saying that life is hopelessly awful, oppressive, doomed: we receive the news, take it in stride, keep walking.
• Optimists race by, trying to disrupt our deliberate pace: we wave to these well-intentioned speed merchants, yet remain on track, guided by stars beyond and light within.
• Sentimentalists wish to lure us into retiring to a gorgeous, romantic village of the beaten path; we tender a friendly glance and saunter on.
• Opportunists set up shop to peddle magic trinkets and relics for our trip; choosing to travel simply, we decline additional tokens and push forward.

 

Faithful to the past, loving in the present, hopers forge tomorrows without number. For hopes do not die, and a hoping heart is of the stuff of eternity.

This Is It!

by Charles "Tom" Brown

 

Comments often heard on this prison yard are, "I can't wait to get out of here" and "I'll be happy when I'm finally released." Those thoughts are understandable, but a fixation on some future event can rob us of the reality and the richness of the present moment.

 

Most of us go through life waiting for the next "high" - the next relationship, the next dessert, the next vacation, the next adventure, the next big game, the next pizza, the next movie, the next television show. We look for the next something to look forward to, something to get us through the day. We also often dwell in the past, remembering what was and what could have been. In our minds our lives spill from the past into the future. When we conveniently skip over the present moment, we don't experience its value, its relevance.

 

Much of the time we are about that which will not matter in the least next year, next month, or next week. What do we think is so important? In my earlier life, many things that seemed important have come and gone. Looking back now, it's hard to imagine what I thought was so significant about those things.

 

From today's perspective, it seems like I have lived many lifetimes within this one. Looking back from this vantage point, it appears that I was stumbling blindly through life, hardly knowing what I was doing, lacking awareness of the true nature of others and the world around me. Yet, at the time, I considered myself intelligent and perceptive. I even thought I knew what I was doing. How strange - this dichotomy between how we see ourselves at the time and how we see our selves in retrospect.

 

Everything comes and goes; everything changes and quickly vanishes. We are not even the same person we were five years ago, or two y ears ago. We are not our circumstances; we are not our immediate problems. In a sense it is hard to keep up with what we are except to recognize what is eternal and changeless.

 

Do we recognize and appreciate the truth of this or are we too preoccupied with temporary changing events? What a wondrous play of consciousness this life is! If we could truly grasp what is going on now, we would never be bored. There would be a sense of wonder. And as we bend and adapt to the uncertainties of each moment, it will allow us to relax and enjoy the ebb and flow of life.

 

Everything has been leading up to this. We exist as much in eternity right now as we ever will. The entire creation exists in the moment. This is it!

The Hypnotic Spell

 

by Charles "Tom" Brown

 

This prison experience of being without many of the things I took for granted has made me aware of the hypnotic spell of the world. How alluring, enticing, and bewitching this world is!

 

The world's hypnotic spell convinces us that there is something out there that will add to our lives, that we are missing out on a lot, that other people are getting or enjoying something that is passing us by. We tend to believe that whatever we're longing for - a raise in our salary, a relationship, a clear medical report - can actually make us happy. Of course these things are great and worthwhile, but can they truly make us happy? Perhaps momentarily, but not for long.

 

When I look back on what was most important to me during various phases of my life, I am mystified. Now it is difficult to understand what was important about these things or how they ever managed to catch my attention. Many things and events were satisfying for awhile, but nothing had any permanence. The drama of this world has been going on for centuries, but everything in this world is eventually forgotten, no matter how important or tragic it seems in the moment.

 

Yet there is a happiness that is effortlessly present at all times. This happiness comes from relaxing with things exactly as they are. When all efforts to get something we think we must have fall away, what remains is the listening presence, the empty space in which it is all happening, awareness itself: the simplicity and wonder of what is. The hypnotic spell is broken.

Tearing Down Fences

 

by Charles "Tom" Brown

 

No matter how much protection we think we need or how high we build our fences, life has a way of tearing them down and disarming us. When the barriers are removed and we're feeling vulnerable, our hearts are the most open.

 

All differences, whether physical, mental, or emotional, are superficial. They keep us from recognizing how much we have in common - starting with the undeniable fact that we're all alive and breathing the same air. Breathing in. Breathing out. Hearts expanding with love and contracting with fear. Is there anything we're experiencing right now that hasn't been experienced by innumerable others?

 

When we look in another person's eyes, we will find a human who is tender and vulnerable, one who pursues security, happiness, and love. We will find someone who is capable of great selfless compassion and one who can be terribly self-centered. We will find someone who has been hurt and who, in turn, has hurt others. We will see a hypocrite, a child, an orphan, a warrior, a hero. We will find someone who wants more love. And if we look deeply into another person's eyes, we will see that person's soul. Then we will discover that it is our true nature to have an open heart, as much as it is the true nature of the flower to open in the sunlight.

 

When the fences are there, I think of being a bird perched on a roof, wings tucked at my side. Then I remember that no bird can fly without opening its wings and we cannot love without exposing our heart. When the fences are removed and we reveal what we hide, the tender things become our wings.

The Beauty of Simplicity

July 26, 2009

Enclosed are some thoughts on “The Beauty of Simplicity”. Many in this economy are learning to live more slowly and simply, and, although this may not be what we wanted or expected, it may turn out to be not so bad after all. When there’s less, there’s more appreciation, more openness to wonders and joy, more capacity to soften critical judgment and simply celebrate what happens to be there, even if it’s not the best, even if it’s not so good.

Living more simply could mean more people growing gardens, cooking food, working on farms, taking care of each other. It could mean having more time to keep up with friends and family, calling to say ‘hello, how did your day go, happy birthday, happy anniversary, happy holiday, and, oh yes, I love you and am glad you are in my life.’

Hard times can remind us of what’s important – what’s basic, beautiful, and worthwhile about being alive. The worst of times brings out the best in us. They help us to be more grateful for another day, for the sun in the morning and the moon at night.

The Beauty of Simplicity

By Charles “Tom” Brown

The same daily routine on this prison yard challenges me to find the specialness in sameness.

Some 2500 years ago Lao-Tzu declared,

When Life is simple

Pretenses Fall away;

Our essential natures Shine through

We can allow our essential natures to shine by not enforcing judgments on ourselves that were imposed by others. It shines when we remind ourselves that we don’t have to win, be number one, or any other number.

Our essential nature shines when we lighten the burden we’re carrying to be productive, wealthy, and successful in the eyes of others, and replace it with an assertion that allows us to access our inner wisdom. Let’s retreat into silence, knowing that lal is well. Let’s give ourselves permission to just BE.

We can get to this space by noticing what is revealed in this very moment. We can get so caught up in the details of our lives that we end up missing a lot. Children grow up and are gone. A loved one dies. A friend moves across the country. Things and people pass so quickly. It’s easy to miss life’s joys.

Out of the simplicity of the moment, we find that joy may be found anywhere. It may be found while sipping a cup of coffe in the morning or in the reflective pause at work. It’s the preciousness of the moment realized. It shows a presence that needs no reward, no accomplishment, no finish, shining forth just as it is.

May we remember the beauty and grace of this moment. It shows its truth, what needs to be done and what can be left undone. It’s the great play of existence, of life and death, of all that was and is and shall be. It awaits our recognition.